Confident Counseling

When an Introvert and an Extrovert Date

They say opposites attract. But do they stay together and how do they make it work? According to one study, introverts make up about 30-50 percent of the population. The odds of an introvert and an extrovert dating is pretty high. Click here to learn more about what the differences between an extrovert and an introvert are. An extrovert regains energy from social interaction while an introvert recharges by being alone in their own heads. You can imagine that this poses several challenges for relationships where both partners have a differing need for social engagement. Here are few tips for couples struggling with these differences.

Understand your differences

The first important step for any partner in this type of relationship is to learn as much about their significant other’s personality. The more you understand how their personality trait impacts your relationship the greater the chance that you will be understanding and less likely to take their differences personally. For an extrovert, it is easy to think their introverted partner is “strange” or antisocial living in a world that idolizes extraversion. For an introvert, having a partner who wants the company of others can feel overwhelming and like rejection. As Francis Bacon said, “knowledge is power” and in this case it will give your relationship the power to reduce conflict.

Compromise and Balance

Ok so now both you and your partner understand each other better, but now what? You both still need a different amount of social interaction and alone time. The next step is to learn how to compromise so that both your needs are met. It is helpful for an introvert to have as much notice as possible about upcoming social events. For the last-minute plans, an introvert will appreciate having a predetermined time that the outing will end. For extroverts, it will be helpful for introverts to welcome extended outings without time limits. For this to work the introvert will benefit from staying home as the extroverts spends extended periods with others. The importance is about having balance to decrease resentment.

Acceptance

The most important step is learning how to accept your partner for who they are. It doesn’t help thinking of your partner as abnormal when introversion/extraversion is a personality trait that can’t be unlearned or changed. Instead harness the strengths you both bring to the table. Introverts are natural listeners and excel at deep one on one conversations. They are usually highly creative and are thorough in making decisions. Extroverts are excellent speakers and have a tendency to take risks. They are socially engaged and oftentimes the life of the party. Understanding these differences will allow you to use them at the best opportunities for optimal success.

After following these steps, you should have a greater sense of compassion and love for your partner. If the conflict is too great, please reach out to a professional who can assess and create a plan for addressing your concerns.

Impostor Syndrome-Do you feel like a fraud?

It’s the first day of your new job and you’re excited yet nervous for all that lies ahead. Here you are. You worked hard, probably even over-prepared for this moment, yet you immediately worry that everyone will find out you really don’t belong here. Even though you didn’t lie on your resume, you feel you don’t deserve this. How can they possibly believe you do?

You feel like you fooled everyone into thinking you’re competent, like you “tricked” them. Does this sound familiar? During a moment of success have you doubted yourself or felt that it wasn’t a big deal? It is extremely frustrating to go through moments like this especially when you see others placing confidence in you while you feel like a “fake.” You’re always on the guard, worried that others will “find you out” and realize you’re not worthy.

This phenomenon, Impostor Syndrome is common in perfectionists and overachievers who aren’t able to internalize and accept their success. These people have unrealistically high standards for themselves that it is difficult to meet their own goals. Even when they do reach them, they are more prone to attribute their success to luck than their own skills. This type of intellectual self-doubt is often paired with anxiety and/or depression.

Many people who feel like impostors grew up in families that placed a big emphasis on achievement. Specifically, parents who send mixed messages by alternating between over-praise and criticism can increase the risk of fraudulent feelings developing. Living in a society that focuses on achievements adds to the problem. The result is confusion between approval, love, and worthiness. Self-worth becomes on achieving.

Those struggling with Impostor Syndrome may avoid applying for promotions, for more responsibility and suffer from higher stress. How can you break this pattern?

Challenge your thoughts

You will discover that at the root of your self-doubt is a negative core belief that you’re not good enough. Ask yourself, when will I ever be good enough? What does good enough mean? Challenge this negative thought by finding evidence in favor of it and against it. It helps to ask yourself would I think this of a love one if they were in my shoes? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you think this way of yourself.

Accept imperfection

Recognize that nobody is perfect. Practice letting go of high standards by doing a “good enough” job and walking away. Make time to appreciate your hard work and create rewards for yourself for completed tasks.

Recognize your strengths

List out the skills you have and learn to accept that you are good at certain things which have value. Yes, there will always be someone better at something, however that doesn’t make your strengths any less important because they are unique to you.

Talk to others about this

Being open and sharing this struggle with those you trust is a way to create awareness for others. They may even help you recognize when you’re engaging thoughts of self-doubt that need challenging. If it is difficult to work on this on your own, consider contacting a counselor to learn skills and challenge negative thinking pattern together. If you struggle with anxiety and depression, a professional will teach you how to cope in a healthy and effective way.

Parenting introverted teenagers

Parenting a teenager is already hard enough. It becomes even more challenging when their personality is different from the norm. Our society favors extrovert traits. From everything from advertising, the political sector, to classroom settings, and work environments extroverts have the advantage. In the classroom, group projects are common as well as speaking out loud in front of the class for grades. The same goes for the work environment. Group meetings are commonplace and those that speak up get the floor over those that take time to think things over quietly by themselves. Cubicles are seen to be the norm for many fields which promote constant collaboration over individual introspection.

It’s crucial that as a parent you learn how to parent your introverted teenager effectively by taking the following steps.

Learn about introversion

I previously wrote an article discussing what introversion is and what the common personality traits here. You can read this article here . Don’t just stop there, continue doing research and it will pay off in the end. You’ll understand what makes your teen tick and why they tend to respond the way they do. You will be less likely to see their behavior as abnormal and fear for depression. It’s common for parents to confuse their child’s normal behavior as a sign of depression. That’s not to say that they aren’t depressed. Since introversion is a personality trait they way they respond will not change based on fluctuations in the situation. Whereas depression is a marked change in behavior.

For example, if your child is normally outgoing and extremely social then any isolating behavior is a sign for concern as that is not typical behavior. An introverted teen would already be less social and be by themselves in their room even when nothing particularly stressful has happened. If they start to display extreme changes in their behavior or stop doing things they used to enjoy, then that is a sign for concern as well. If you aren’t sure, it won’t hurt to get a professional evaluation for your child.

Introverts naturally need time alone to recharge. Social interactions, especially with strangers, drain mental energy which is why your introvert may start to disengage, get really quiet, and even become irritable after long periods of social activity. Parents may interpret this as a disrespectful behavior and a sign of rejection, when really they need time alone to “recharge”. In families with lots of younger children, it is helpful for your introvert to have the ability to be alone when they need to recharge as they may tolerate less stimulation.

Talk to your child about what you learn

After you’ve done some reading about introversion and the common traits, talk to your teen about it. This is helpful because it creates conversation around it and decreases any negative stigma your child might have felt. Unfortunately this society favors extroverts and so many introverts feel like there is something wrong with them for not conforming so easily. It’s important to understand what introversion looks like for your teen in particular. Personality traits lie on a spectrum and so your child will be able to tell you where they lie on that continuum.

Accept them

As a parent, it’s understandable to worry that there might be something wrong with your teenager since they aren’t conforming to what is viewed as “normal”. Now that you’ve learned about introversion and talked to your teen about it, the last thing is to accept them for who they are. Understand that they aren’t “weird” or “broken”.They in fact are normal. Introversion isn’t something they will grow out of. Instead encourage them to listen to their bodies when it’s telling them they need to recharge for self-care. You can also help them harness their strengths such as their ability for thoughtful in their decision-making and their excellent listening skills. Remind them that introverts and extroverts compliment each other.

Help your teen heal after sexual assault Teen counseling Northborough MA

How to help your teen heal after sexual assault

Being the victim of sexual assault is one of the worst things anyone can experience. Discovering that your teen was a victim of sexual assault is the worst thing any parent can hear. Anger, sadness, shock, blame, and helplessness are familiar feelings where you’ll wonder what you could have done to prevent this from happening to your child. While you’re struggling to deal with this wave of emotions, it can seem daunting to understand the best way to help your teen.

As a counselor in private practice, I have worked with several teens that have been sexually assaulted and have worked closely with their parents on how to cope and be the best support possible. I hope this article helps you be the person your child needs.

It’s important to contact the police and take your teenager to the hospital to get the necessary medical care and a rape kit completed. Your child may disagree with going to the authorities initially, however that might change later with time. By going to the authorities, you have a higher chance of preventing this perpetrator from sexually assaulting another person.

An important message for you to convey is that you are here to listen. It is common for sexual abuse survivors to blame themselves, hesitate to tell family for fear of hurting them, or feel stupid for “allowing” this to happen to them. The best thing anyone can do is offer genuine support without any judgments. Do your best to enforce the message that your teen is not to blame regardless of what they were wearing or doing.

Creating a safe place where your child can express all their feelings around the trauma is key. It can be helpful to share your experiences with these emotions as a way of normalizing them for them. Just be careful to not make this be about yourself and stay focused on their feelings. Offer ideas that might help them such as finding counseling, going away together, discussing the loss around the trauma and the meaning. I have worked with teens that were virgins when they were raped and discussing this loss was an important part of their healing. They often worried about having future conversations around how they lost virginity. Support their worries and brainstorm solutions to them.

Find counseling for yourself. This is helpful for two reasons 1) it takes away the negative bias for your teen to see you go into counseling which could promote them to see a counselor too and 2) you will benefit from getting support around how to cope with all the feelings you are facing around this traumatic news. It is important to continue going about your daily routine like before. Right now your teen’s world is upside down and the more normal the rest of the world seems the safer they will feel. If you start to panic and allow yourself to fall into a depressive state, your teen might spiral out of control too. Thus counseling for yourself will help you have an outlet for the spiral of emotions you are facing.

Watch out for extreme behavioral changes like isolating, depressive comments or suicidal remarks. It is common for people to engage in self-harm behaviors like cutting, burning self, promiscuous sex, and substance abuse after traumatic events as a way of coping and gaining back control. Talking to your teen about your concerns in a supportive non-judgmental way will increase their chances of listening to your ideas for help.

Research the consequences of self-harming behaviors such as cutting becoming addictive and a source of future shame if there are scars. Teens often don’t realize the long-term effects of their actions and are often surprised to know that it can become addictive. Try to discover what is triggering them and offer suggestions for ways they can release their emotions such as drawing, hitting something, screaming, going for a walk, taking a hot shower, etc. There are a variety of pleasurable activities that someone can engage in as alternatives to cutting.

Search for teen groups for survivors of sexual support and offer to go with them if they would like. The Rainn (Rape, Abuse and incest National Network) is a great resource for information and finding local groups. Finding others that have gone through similar experiences will be a great way for your teenager to relate to others and get their feelings out and not bottle them in. Recommend counseling for them and offer to attend with them for added support.

If they are engaging in dangerous behaviors or have suicidal thoughts, please take them to your local Emergency Mental Health Department or Emergency Room.

Remember that it’s normal to feel lost and confused. What just happened is not a normal circumstance and so you are having a normal reaction or an abnormal situation. You don’t have to face this with your teen alone, please call a counselor for individual or family guidance. If you can take away any message from this article it is for you to listen to your child, talk to them, validate their emotions, and find support for both of you during this difficult time.

Resisting a materialistic culture

In a previous article, Spring Cleaning: Discarder’s Remorse, I discuss my goal of reducing the materials or “stuff” that in my life for greater inner peace of mind. This culture of materialism is one that has been on my mind more lately, specifically on how it adds to our feelings of sadness, anxiety, self-loathing, emptiness, and more severely Depression.

In his blog article titled Living in an Age of Melancholy: When Society Becomes Depressed–By DOUGLAS BLOCH talks about this very issue. He does a great job outlining the very ways that our society impacts and promotes a negative life.

Douglas Bloch writes that we can no longer afford to view depression solely as a problem of the person. To end the worldwide epidemic of depression, we must combine individual psychological therapies with new social and economic systems that respect the earth and more fairly distribute the worlds resources.This sounds like a daunting task, but there are ways that we can each reduce the effects our culture continues to have.

Spread awareness

Having a blog about social issues you are passionate about is a great way to spread the word about your ideas. This brings together a community of other like-minded people and it’s an excellent platform to share ideas for implementing change.

Donate & Volunteer

Where you choose to spend your time indicates what you value most. Your most important currency is time and choosing to spend it for a cause your believe in that involves helping others is an excellent way to reject a culture focused on materials.

Evaluate the stuff you have in your life

Take a look at your closet. Do you find that you have 10 or more different pairs of shoes, pants, shirts, towels…? Is it necessary to have an excess of materials for you to live? I’m not saying you need to have one pant and one shirt or become a monk. I am saying that sometimes we get so wrapped up in buying more to keep up an image that we forget what’s important in life. Do those “things” really make you happy or are you trying to fill a hole in your heart? Many people enjoy “retail therapy” but never address the real problem they are covering. You owe it to yourself to spend the time and do the emotional work of discovering what needs to change in your life. You don’t have to do this alone as there are counselors that can guide you through the process.

Shop from companies with pro-social values

It’s sad to learn that your favorite company employs poor citizens of a foreign country to sell their products to you at a premium. As consumers we have the power to force change on these companies, we just have to put our money where our values are.

Resist traditions focused on consumerism (ex. Black Friday)

Why not spend the time with family or start a new tradition and donate food at a food pantry?

Join local groups to start change

Websites like Meetup have groups focused on political ideas and social justice. They schedule regular meetings or events where you can take part and meet other people interested in same things you are

Create a local group to create change if one doesn’t already exist

Creating and running a group on a site like Meetup does have a cost, you can recover this by asking for donations from members or even adding a membership fee to cover annual costs. Meetup.com is not the only platform you can use to create a group. You can create a website solely dedicated to your cause using WordPress which is free.

Travel to impoverished countries

I believe traveling is a form of education. You experience new cultures and ways of life that are different from your own. By traveling you gain knowledge of the struggles that exist in the world.

It isn’t easy, but taking small steps in your life not only influences those around you but it also increases the positivity in your life. Feeling good about what you’re doing also impacts your self-esteem and view of your place in the world.

Reasons you are still in an unhealthy relationship

Over the years I have worked with several people who struggle to find healthy relationships or leave unhealthy ones. After a while I began to notice constant patterns/themes to why people don’t leave their unhealthy relationships. Here the most common reasons you are still in an unhealthy relationship that may apply to you.

Change is hard

Of course it is. It’s easy to become content in our routine even if it is making us miserable. The problem with letting the challenge of it and fear of the unknown stop us from making better choices for you is that you are allowing fear to dictate your life. Let me tell you that it never ends well.

You’re afraid to be alone

Who doesn’t enjoy companionship, most of us do. The problem as mentioned before is that fear is not your best friend here. Yes, fear helps keep you alive in life or death situations but it isn’t helping you now by keeping you paralyzed in an unhealthy relationship.

Would you really be alone if you left? What about your friends and family, do they not count? I understand that those relationships are not exactly the same as an intimate one.

The question really comes down to why do you believe you would never find another person you would be interested in or who would be interested in you. How realistic is that really? I’m not saying the minute you leave your relationship, you’ll be in a new one, nor am I encouraging that anyway.

You’ll want some time to grief the loss and focus on rebuilding yourself during your single time. However the odds that you’ll be single forever just seems so unrealistic given that you’ve clearly found people who show interest in you otherwise you wouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with.

You doubt you can do better

Why? Who told you that this? Usually if you do enough self-exploration and introspection you will find an automatic belief about yourself which has built over the years usually stemming from childhood and early life experiences. Examples include: “I’m stupid,” “I’m not lovable”, “I’m not worthy”, “I can never do anything right”, and the list goes on.

Figure out what your automatic belief is that you’re carrying around. You can usually find it during difficult times in your life or when you make mistakes which then reaffirm your automatic thought about yourself such as “You see I knew I couldn’t do it right, I never do anything right.”

It won’t help if your partner encourages these negative thoughts about yourself. Ever wonder why they verbally abuse you? Most likely it’s because of their own low self-esteem and their fear of losing you if you realize how negative they are and what you’re true value is. Either way those aren’t the qualities of a happy person so you can definitely do better.

It’s too late

Says who? The only time it’s too late is when you’re dead and if you’re reading this now then the odds are very likely that you are still alive. Many people find new love in their golden years and you can anytime you want to be open to it.

But they have so much potential

If I had a quarter for every time I heard this. “I know he’ll be nicer once he goes to counseling, if only I was more patient, if only I loved them more, if only they loved me more”, and so on. Do you plan other aspects of your life on this idea? Would you move in to an apartment infested with cockroaches and lead paint on the notion that “well once the landlord decides to fix the problem it will be wonderful.” I didn’t think so.

You need to remember that “What you see is what you get”. If you aren’t comfortable with dating someone who smokes don’t date them thinking well I know he’ll quit one day. The only person in charge of making change is yourself. Why waste time waiting for the other person to make changes they may or may not stick. Do yourself a favor and find someone who already has the qualities you want today.

You’ve invested too much already

I understand that this one is difficult to let go of. You’ve spent years if not decades building a life together, investing time, emotions, and finances that you find it difficult to let go and walk away. Chances are that most of your memories together include pain and resentment. What will you have to show for that? You won’t get a medal for sticking it out, just more damage to your self-esteem.

You believe “true love” bears all

Yes the best kind of love is unconditional and like the relationship with our children or our parents we love them no matter what. Does that mean you have to tolerate everything they do? No! You can love someone and still chose how much you want them around.

True love does not mean sacrificing yourself in an unhealthy or abusive relationship because at the end of the day you should also love yourself. How else can you expect healthy relationships if you mistreat yourself by tolerating abuse? You can set limits like leaving and considering a future relationship only once they’ve gone to counseling and stopped the behaviors that pushed you away to begin with.

We have children together

More reason why you should leave. By you staying in this type of relationship you are teaching your children to tolerate the behaviors that are unhealthy to begin with. What message do you want to leave your children? Most likely not that one.

You’re children will be grateful to see you caring for yourself and wanting to teach them healthy examples of adult relationships for them to model once they grow up.

Did any of these reasons resonate with you? So now what? Remember that you only get one chance at life and will you look back and regret having stayed in an unhealthy relationship more than leaving it. If you know you want to leave but feel stuck then it’s time to see a counselor who can help you gain the strength to move forward in whatever direction that is. They won’t be able to make the choice for you but they can prepare you for the challenge and support you while you make difficult decisions.

Confident Counseling Teen Counseling Northborough MA 01532

How to boost the self-esteem of your teen

Learning how to boost the self-esteem of your teen is a challenge if you aren’t sure where to start. As a parent you want the best for your children. You want them to filter out everything negative and only accept the positive. You focus on praising them and telling them they can be anything and do everything they set their mind to. Then your child hits puberty and starts doubting themselves either because of a teacher, another adult, the media, a peer, a bad experience… The list goes on and you realize just how fragile a child’s sense of self can really be at that age. You struggle seeing your child, full of potential, withdrawing, dropping activities, or worse self-harming and/or contemplating suicide.

I often have parents ask me this question when they feel lost and worry about making things worse. I’ve seen parents increase the control in their teen’s life only to push them further away and I’ve seen parents disengage, find a counselor, and pray for a miracle. Either extreme isn’t helpful. In order to answer this question, we have to look at the source of their doubt. Is it due to their surroundings outside the home, within the home? Is it due to a negative experience like failing at an activity/hobby, trauma? Gender is also an important factor and what they learn to value (e.g. appearance, strength).

Here are steps you can take to help build your teen’s self-esteem

When they do well, praise them while also emphasizing the importance and value of the experience not just the achievement

If you focus on performance you send the message that the goal is to excel which if internalized can lead to anxiety, low self-worth, and depression. There is no such thing as perfect whereas good enough is attainable.

Show interest in their activities while also acknowledging that they are a whole person outside of their hobbies

They are not just a “football player, or a photographer.” It’s easy for parents to get so excited about their child’s interests that they go overboard and unintentionally put pressure on them (e.g. calling them “my artist”). If they decide to no longer pursue that interest their sense of worth and value may struggle.

Give them space to make mistakes without expectations for perfection

Trust your teenager with clear expectations on what you will allow and not allow. I have worked with parents that are so afraid of their child making mistakes that they restrict their movement even though the child is getting all A’s and stays home. The parent is then surprised to find that their teen is keeping secrets and refuses to share their day-to-day events with them.

How will your child learn if not through mistakes?

I urge parents to keep open communication with their child accepting that their child will mess up. I would even go a step further and share stories of mistakes you’ve made and lessons you’ve learned. This will encourage open communication with your teenager.

The key for a parent is to be seen as a safe resource of trusted and reliable information so that your teenager relies less on their peers, who lack the experience and who might have wrong intentions.

That’s not to say that you should give your teen free rein. Boundaries are still crucial, however not allowing your child access to the internet because you worry they will come across something “awful” sends the message you don’t trust them. Why should they trust themselves when their own parents don’t? Instead turn that topic into an open educational conversation.

As a parent, model healthy self-esteem habits

Are you preoccupied with what others think about you?
Are your standards realistic and are you accepting of your mistakes?
Do you emphasize the importance of superficial goals such as weight, status, or money?
Do you focus on your need to know all the right answers and be perfect?
Are you emotionally available and able to show your vulnerabilities?

These are subtle messages that we send to our children about how we place value and expectations on ourselves and others. I was working with a teenager who struggled with her physical appearance. Whenever she had acne she would avoid her sport practices, games, friends, and skip school because of how “ugly she felt” and because she worried her friends would talk about her behind her back.

It wasn’t surprising to find that her mother also struggled with her appearance, focused on losing weight, went on diets, and made critical remarks of others based on their appearance.

This mother thought she did a good job at hiding her own self-esteem issues with her body and didn’t realize that her daughter still got the message that her value depends on her appearance.

Unfortunately, the message “Do as I say, not as I do”, does not work with our children. They look to us as guides for how we take the messages imposed through the media; culture, peers, and family and how we either reject or accept them. That’s not to say that parents are 100% at fault if their teenager struggles with low self-esteem. What I’m saying is that parents do play a powerful role in laying down the foundation.

I would love to hear your ideas, questions, or thoughts on ways to help boost the self-esteem of your teen. Leave a comment below.

Here is a short video demonstrating how a girl’s parents and peers influence their self-esteem.

[kad_youtube url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS8OmSQpb9A” ]

When Someone Doubts You

I’ve had several experiences in my life where someone in a leadership position has doubted my ability. The first time I was in High School. My history teacher refused to approve me from taking an Honors level history class the following year after saying, “I don’t think you’re capable.”

The next time was from my supervisor at a Community Agency I worked at as a counselor. I created my schedule and was only reimbursed when I saw clients. The paperwork was prohibitive and the pay was poor. After almost 3 years I decided that I would start my private practice and cut down the amount of time at the agency. When I informed my supervisor, she responded by saying “It’s too hard and I don’t think you’re ready.” She didn’t offer any suggestions to help towards my goal but instead suggested I close the chapter before opening the book.

Now keep in mind that I had been working with clients with every disorder possible including severe psychotic disorders. I don’t know about other counselors, but I find it extremely difficult to have a successful session while someone is actively hallucinating. Instead of realizing how her fears were being projected unto me, I started to question and doubt my dream and myself.

Then something clicked for me. I was accepting the doubt from someone who had never pursued this dream, someone who had never tried.

A year earlier I had talked about private practice with this supervisor and she shared how she never bothered to go into private practice because it was too difficult and not worth it. Of course it’s difficult, starting your own business will be. In a search for inspiration I reached out to a local counselor, Marina Williams, who was successful with her own private practice and who wrote a blog I follow. Click here to read her blog. Prepare for some excellent and insightful writing.

I reached out to her because I realized it made more sense to ask for advice from a person that is already doing what I hoped to accomplish. What do I have to gain from someone who never bothered trying out of fear? More fear and self-doubt.

Marina responded and shared that she faced a similar reaction from her supervisor at a community agency. Marina assured me that if I was ready to work for a community agency, then I was definitely ready to work for myself seeing clients with far less severe problems. Even though Marina had never met me, I realized I had placed too much value in what negative people thought of me and my abilities. Only I knew what I was capable of and I was the one daring to take the risk.

If you have a passion and people express doubt in your ability, question their motives. Are they coming from place of caring or fear? If they are coming from a place of care, then they will most likely offer suggestions to help you follow your dream, not tell you to give up. Have they followed any of their dreams? If not, then the following quote is perfect as a response.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

When someone doubts you, reach out to those that have already blazed the path you are interested in. They will serve as a better guide. Connect with positive people who will share inspiration and words of wisdom. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something you have a passion for.

5 Ways To Tell You Are In An Unhealthy Relationship

There are several ways that relationships are unhealthy, “toxic”, or extremely abusive. Sometimes it’s difficult to notice the signs before it escalates and gets worse. Here are 5 ways to tell you are in an unhealthy relationship that I have come across in my practice in working with couples and individuals.

You feel confused after every argument

You are most likely being manipulated. Healthy disagreements should leave you feeling heard, understood, and there should be a mutual plan to move forward.

You feel controlled

You have to ask “permission” to do things without your partner or even to have access to your own things. There is a fine line between making decisions together and needing their approval.

You feel worse about yourself or are physically threatened or abused

It is usually harder to recognize emotional abuse because physical wounds aren’t left behind. If you notice that you are starting to feel incapable without that other person, then you might be getting emotionally abused.

You walk on eggshells

You should feel like you are free to speak your mind or make mistakes in a healthy relationship.

Your intuition tells you something is wrong

It’s common for our “gut” to pick up on feelings that we often ignore. With practice, you can learn to listen to your intuition and recognize unhealthy patterns sooner than later.

It’s common for our “gut” to pick up on feelings that we often ignore. With practice, you can learn to listen to your intuition and recognize unhealthy patterns sooner than later.

If you want to learn more Contact Us

1 2 3 4