Do we really know how to love unconditionally? As a couples counselor, I see many couples come in expressing disillusionment with their partner’s inability to meet their needs. As a result many of them stop trying meet their partner’s needs and it becomes this hostage situation around who will give in first. What happened to loving your partner unconditionally?
Is this even possible for us to do? The best example of this I can think of is between parents and their children. When asked why we love our parents or children it usually doesn’t go beyond “Well because they are my mom, or my dad, or my kid.” I don’t typically hear this when it comes to couples. Usually when you ask why they love their partner, the answer is followed with, “They listen to me, they care, they take care of me…” but aren’t all of these things that they do for you? What about loving them just because?
There is a book that has challenged me to love my husband unconditionally and it is called The Love Dare by Kendrick. It asks me to complete one new dare each and every day around learning what love means and how to apply it in my marriage. It is a Christian book and if you’re open to it, I highly encourage you to the challenge. Many people will be turned off by this but yet many wedding vows take from the bible specifically Corinthians “Love is patient, Love is kind…”. I’m curious if attempted, will you regret it?
One woman I dared to apply this dare influenced her marriage so much that after a couple of months they were no longer contemplating divorce. I’m not suggesting that this dare will change your imperfect partner into a perfect one. I am suggesting that by doing this challenge you will change to be a better partner to your imperfect one.